Post-Larium Dreams
April 3, 2006, Monday. 8:23am. Post-Larium Dreams
Well I stopped the Larium but I’m still getting weird dreams. I just woke up from a dream about discovering a gigantic cricket on my mosquito net. I mean GINORMOUS. Lobster-like. In fact it was inexplicably orange, as if someone had steamed it for a Cajun stew, and I thought its Alaskan king crab legs looked quite mouth-watering. PCV Shinita was staying over and was still sleeping in my bed. I woke her up and showed it to her. She looked at it, then PICKED IT UP as if it were a lobster and said, “What should we do with this?”
At this point you have to understand who Shinita is. This is the girl who thinks anything with more than four legs needs to be dead, but there’s to be no smashing with rubber flip flops or anything of the sort. If she sees a bug she recoils violently and immediately sprays it to death with Doom, the Kenyan equivalent of Raid. She singlehandedly keeps the Doom company in business. Everywhere she goes there is a can of Doom in her hand, or at least in her backpack. If she plans to sleep somewhere, it will get a healthy coating of Doom before she lies down. If there’s a single bug in your house she will spray the entire premises until you can’t see each other because of the cloud of Doom working its poisonous magic. She calls herself the “expert tucker” because she is so skilled at tucking her mosquito net into her bed that not even a virus could get through. If there’s even a tiny hole in her net she will scour her house until she finds a piece of dental floss or duct tape to patch it.
So in my dream Shinita picks up the cricket nonchalantly and says, “What should we do with this?” We discuss various options for awhile but can’t up with any good decision. Finally Shinita just opens the door and lobs the cricket onto my front lawn. It lands like a grenade, exploding and scattering dirt and cricket parts all over my yard.
“Wow, that was cool!” I said. “Did you know it was going to do that?”
“No, but I guess it’s gone now,” she said.
Then I woke up, and there were no crickets in my room, giant or otherwise.
Well I stopped the Larium but I’m still getting weird dreams. I just woke up from a dream about discovering a gigantic cricket on my mosquito net. I mean GINORMOUS. Lobster-like. In fact it was inexplicably orange, as if someone had steamed it for a Cajun stew, and I thought its Alaskan king crab legs looked quite mouth-watering. PCV Shinita was staying over and was still sleeping in my bed. I woke her up and showed it to her. She looked at it, then PICKED IT UP as if it were a lobster and said, “What should we do with this?”
At this point you have to understand who Shinita is. This is the girl who thinks anything with more than four legs needs to be dead, but there’s to be no smashing with rubber flip flops or anything of the sort. If she sees a bug she recoils violently and immediately sprays it to death with Doom, the Kenyan equivalent of Raid. She singlehandedly keeps the Doom company in business. Everywhere she goes there is a can of Doom in her hand, or at least in her backpack. If she plans to sleep somewhere, it will get a healthy coating of Doom before she lies down. If there’s a single bug in your house she will spray the entire premises until you can’t see each other because of the cloud of Doom working its poisonous magic. She calls herself the “expert tucker” because she is so skilled at tucking her mosquito net into her bed that not even a virus could get through. If there’s even a tiny hole in her net she will scour her house until she finds a piece of dental floss or duct tape to patch it.
So in my dream Shinita picks up the cricket nonchalantly and says, “What should we do with this?” We discuss various options for awhile but can’t up with any good decision. Finally Shinita just opens the door and lobs the cricket onto my front lawn. It lands like a grenade, exploding and scattering dirt and cricket parts all over my yard.
“Wow, that was cool!” I said. “Did you know it was going to do that?”
“No, but I guess it’s gone now,” she said.
Then I woke up, and there were no crickets in my room, giant or otherwise.
posted by Justina at 8:23 AM
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