Fired Over a Fire

Our Division Officer, basically a high-ranking police officer responsible for settling land and domestic disputes in the administrative division, Aldai, has been fired for not putting a stop to the Orange supporters who set the Banana podium on fire last weekend. Locals say it was a political move to make an example of those leaders who don't support the Kenyan President and his government, who are pro-banana.

Well I've already started getting anxious about the Thanksgiving dinner I'm supposed to make for ten of my co-workers. Logically you'd think since they've never had an American Thanksgiving before that they wouldn't know any better if I screwed up the food, but I think a black, turkey-shaped lump in the middle of the table is a universal symbol of kitchen failure. If anyone out there has a simple recipe for stuffing, can you email it my way?