I speak Swahili?

Yesterday we had a Homestay Family Appreciation luncheon for all the families who hosted Peace Corps trainees. I gave a speech - in Swahili - on behalf of all the trainees. Text and translation follows. Don't be fooled, my Swahili isn't actually this good. I just
stood there making random sounds with my mouth that people claimed to have understood.

Hamjambo. (Hatujambo.)
Habari za leo? (Nzuri.)
Mwa tinda ata? (Nesa.)
Mulembe. (Mulembe muno.)
Chamge. (Chamge mising.)
Hola, como esta?

Jamaa yangu katika Kenya ina uwezo wa hali ya juu wa kustahimili kicheko. Niliposahau kuweka sukari katika chai na ikachemka kiasi kumwagika sakafuni, nilipoyamaliza maji yote ndooni kwa kujimwagilia
kichwani na kuyajaza bafuni, nilipojaribu kumkamua ngombe wa jirani na maziwa hayakutoka, nilipokula nyuki katika asali kwa wiki moja, jamaa yangu ilionyesha uso uliojaribu kuficha mshangao, na wakasema, "Hakuna shida, tutakusaidia."

Kwa uvumilivu na ukarimu huu unanifanya kufikri kwamba nilinufaika zaidi kuliko wao. Katika homestay, mama yangu alinipikia chakula kizuri na kitamu kila siku, na kile tu nilichokifanya ni kuunguza chapati. Mama yangu na watoto wengine wadogo wa majirani walinifunza
kufua nguo kwa mikono, na nguo zangu zilijaza kamba zote. Niliwatesa kwa Kiswahili changu kidogo, lakini neno la Kiingereza ambalo niliwafunza ni "food coma" (kwa mfano, ukishiba sana unasikia kulala.)

Ninajua si kazi rahisi kumtunza kila mtu katika familia, haswa mgeni ambaye hali ugali, hutumia maji mengi ya kuoga, na ambaye hutoroka akiwaona mende ukutani. Ninafikiri ninazungumza kwa niaba ya
wanafunzi wengine ninaposema sisi tunaunyenyekevu kutokana na juhudi zenu za kutukaribisha na kutufanya tujisikie nyumbani, na salama, kama vile tungelijisikia majumbani mwetu.

Tunawashukuru kwa kujitolea kwenu ambako labda hatukuweza kuona wala kutabua tulipokuwa usingizini asubuhi. Mmetupa zawadi ambazo hatuwezi kulipa kama vile ukarimu, kuwa na moyo safi na kadhalika
tutazibeba zawadi hizi maishani mwetu.

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(Greetings in Swahili, Kikamba, Kiluhya, Kikalenjin and Spanish)

My host family has a superhuman ability to stifle laughter. When I forgot to put sugar in the chai and it exploded from the sufuria onto the floor, when I ended my first bucket bath by dumping all the water over my head and flooding the bafu, when I tried to milk the neighbor’s cow and nothing came out, and when I ate the bees in the honey for a week, my family just pokerfaced politely and said, "No problem. Here, let me help you."

It's this kind of patience and generosity that makes me think that the host families got the raw end of the deal. At my homestay, my mama cooked delicious, authentic food for me everyday, and all I ever did was burn the chapati. She and various 6-year-old girls
from the neighborhood taught me to wash my clothes by hand, and in return I hogged all the space on the clothesline. I tortured everyone with my dismal Kiswahili, but the only English phrase they learned from me was "food com."

I know it can be a struggle to take care of everyone in your family, much less an extra guest - one who is reluctant to eat ugali, who uses insane amounts of water to take a bath, and who bolts from the room if there is a cockroach on the wall. So I think I speak for all the trainees when I say that we are humbled by your immense efforts to make us feel as comfortable, safe and welcome as we would feel if we were in our own homes. We are grateful for all the invisible
sacrifices you've made for us that we will never know about, and that probably happened before we woke up in the morning. You have given us gifts that can never be repaid - those of kindness, generosity and open-heartedness - that we will carry with us for the
rest of our lives.